Classroom Mischief Enthusiast Gifts

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

I will not waste chalk kid...

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

Back to School

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

"People...do you FINALLY understand the concept of 'Visual Narrative?'"

A small clown sits at the back of a class room - 'Mr Jenkins, do you always have to be the class clown?!'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

"You said you wanted me to show you a better school report..."

'A sinkhole ate my homework...?'

"I didn't bring an apple, so how about a fruit roll up?"

'Ok, who threw that?'

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

'Aah! I've caught you Dobson - making love to my wife during working hours!'

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

Student to mother: 'What a day. The health teacher left school sick, the debate team got expelled for fighting, the biology teacher dissected the school mascot, and the glee club, in general, went berserk.'

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

Paul Revere circa 3rd grade.

More velocity, less wing area Jeffery.

'It was animal day at school...I had a dog, Merry had a cat, Robert had a tarantula, and the teacher had a cow.'

"I only talk down to your child because he's shorter than me."

"I think Mr. Jackson is dismissing the class!"