Classroom Conspirators Gifts

"I think of you as my academic wingman."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Computer Class.

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

I will not waste chalk kid...

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Please, Ms. Sweeney, may I ask where you're going with all this?"

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

"There's also a link to my manifesto in the notes section—www.freewilioz.org, articles four and five, respectively."

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

Do I get extra credit for neatness?

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"