Classroom Conspiracy Theorist Gifts

"I can't help feeling that you are deliberately failing your exams in order to sabotage my teacher's evaluation."

The Anti-Agent

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

Alien Assumption

"Walt Disney on ice."

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

The Da Vinci Cod

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

Gremlins 47

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

"I remember driving to Roswell and then it goes blank."