Government Conspiracy Theorist Gifts

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

The Anti-Agent

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

The Circular Logic of Fascism

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"Walt Disney on ice."

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Alien Assumption

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

The Da Vinci Cod

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

Gremlins 47

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Elevator Music

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

Welcome: Skeptics Society

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

What can I get you? An explanation for why we haven't gone back to the moon. Would you like the rational explanation or the Youtube explanation? Rational would be lovely, please. Ok. We never went back to the moon because there was no reason to. The whole point of Apollo was to reassure the free world that we could beat the Soviet Union. Mission accomplished. Oh ... that's it? Well, that's rather bland. Could I exchange that for the Youtube explanation? The lizard-men who live on the film set wh

The evidence destroyed

"I remember driving to Roswell and then it goes blank."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

Legalish