Education Escapee Gifts

One thing I'll always be thankful for is that I got here before there were any SATs.

Bank Student Loan Dept. You're only repaying a small fraction of your student loans? Yeah, because at this point I've forgotten almost everything I learned in college.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

Cunning as a Fox hey? Well, I saw you cheating Mister! D-Minus!

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

Back to school anchor

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

As I understand it, if the ancient Greeks had had television to watch and video games to play, we wouldn't be stuck with all this stupid geometry.

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

Please wait to be yelled at.

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

Parents happy that student has dropped out of university.

Danny always had trouble with math. (written on board: Ohio is the capital of Wisconsin.'

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

Municipal Zoo - Closed due to Extinction.

Teacher's Lounge

Abandon claculators all ye who enter here.

Last day of school.

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"

"In many Latin American countries, Columbus Day is celebrated as 'Dia de la Raza.' In The Bahamas, it's called 'Discovery Day.' In Argentina, it's known as 'Day of the Americas.'"

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'