Tuition Fee Escapee Gifts

Parents happy that student has dropped out of university.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

Write "Brenda' but use disappearing ink

"You and your lists! You're missing out on life."

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

As I understand it, if the ancient Greeks had had television to watch and video games to play, we wouldn't be stuck with all this stupid geometry.

Please wait to be yelled at.

'The latest on the tuition front. Next year nobody will be able to afford college.'

Bank Student Loan Dept. You're only repaying a small fraction of your student loans? Yeah, because at this point I've forgotten almost everything I learned in college.

"Hi, J.B. Guess where I am."

'It cost a mint to educate him. If you want his opinion, you'll have to pay for it.'

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

Some New Mortarboard Styles.

Teacher's Lounge

Class of 2015

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"

Back to School Jitters

… and then I got laid off from my law job and I've been just … hanging out. It's been interesting. Being outside the type A machine, I realize just how dependent I was on the judgment of bosses, and, before them, teachers. Some days, I can go whole hours without feeling like I'm letting someone down. No kidding. More like half-hours. Minutes, really. I exaggerated. Do you still like me? Careful, something strange afoot.

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

One thing I'll always be thankful for is that I got here before there were any SATs.

The Cartoon Islands

Learn While You Hibernate.

'We'd like to get away from reality TV.'

'If you miss a payment, we will teach you a lesson.'

Chuckie's test results come back negative.

'Turns out four score and seven years isn't the length of the school day.'

Burning bills

"When are you going to admit that you're a procrastinator?"