School Fee Survivor Gifts

'We've decided to support you for the rest of your life. It's cheaper than sending you to college.'

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'I know Lazarus software retrieves lost data, but I don't think it helps when your dog eats your homework.'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

Student Debt

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

"Sure I know what it adds up to. It adds up to another 'C' for Eddie Goldbeck."

"I don't want to go back to school; other people are my kryptonite."