Education Escapee Pillows

One thing I'll always be thankful for is that I got here before there were any SATs.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

Cunning as a Fox hey? Well, I saw you cheating Mister! D-Minus!

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

Back to school anchor

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

Municipal Zoo - Closed due to Extinction.

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

Abandon claculators all ye who enter here.

Danny always had trouble with math. (written on board: Ohio is the capital of Wisconsin.'

Last day of school.

Parents happy that student has dropped out of university.

Teacher's Lounge

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"

"In many Latin American countries, Columbus Day is celebrated as 'Dia de la Raza.' In The Bahamas, it's called 'Discovery Day.' In Argentina, it's known as 'Day of the Americas.'"

"As you leave this year behind, remember you did your best to soar with eagles, to be the best you can be, best of luck, my honorable students."

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

'My daughter can't come to school today - I have a hot nose!'

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'