Internet Evader Gifts

I.T. Fear

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"I don't know what in blazes it means either, but just to be safe we'll put extra men on watch tonight."

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

Gardener with window box and giant slug.

"You go pillage. I can loot from here."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

'Anything to get out of taking a bath.'

'I hate networking.'

Stand in the Q.

Man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Did You Forget Mother's Day?

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"Can we, just for a moment, your Honor, ignore the facts?"

Spectabilis Horridus

'Open up Clayton, you knew it was inevitable.'

Protection from technology

"He has an unhealthy obsession with health apps."

"Don't worry. As soon as Junior learns enough words, he'll tell you how to work it."

'Dude. Seriously? Tell me you didn't put your tongue on that thing.'

"No thanks, just browsing."

I hitched to work...and left early to avoid the traffic.

A frowning man looks at a smiling screen

"Join the 21st century, Dad...it's a laptop computer."

'We've got stop seeing each other - my wife is getting suspicious!'