Human Interaction Avoider Gifts

Not in the mood for human interaction line

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

Crowded Ice Fishing

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

Nervous at a party.

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

'Is he expecting you?'

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"Sorry, but I didn't switch from unsanitary handshakes to fist bumps just to start group hugging!"

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"Gah! Too many people!"

We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea.

"We came early to avoid the conga line."

"That was there to give idlers reason to not stop and chat."

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'I hate networking.'

"I miss handshakes"

Sleeping - "Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."