Chit-chat Avoider Gifts

"That was there to give idlers reason to not stop and chat."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

'Is he expecting you?'

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'

2016 Policlicks

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

"I envy you, not having any idea of what's going on these days."

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'I hate networking.'

Not in the mood for human interaction line

Sleeping - "Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

'Right, I've convened these meetings to explore some concerns about the number of meetings we've been having.'

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

'The news on tv is SO depressing, I've decided to stop watching it.' 'Is that permitted?!'

"I only wish this was the final notice."

"Oh my God have you seen this sh-"

"Oh, the pain I can take—it's the awkward silence between conversations that's torture."

"Careful, he can smell your boredom."

"At last — no Trump."