Chit-chat Avoider Pillows

"That was there to give idlers reason to not stop and chat."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

'Is he expecting you?'

2016 Policlicks

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

"I envy you, not having any idea of what's going on these days."

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'I hate networking.'

Sleeping - "Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

Not in the mood for human interaction line

'Right, I've convened these meetings to explore some concerns about the number of meetings we've been having.'

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

"Careful, he can smell your boredom."

"My insomnia is getting worse, doctor - I can't even sleep now when there is a party political programme on television."

"Oh my God have you seen this sh-"

How to tell that it's Howie Mandel's dog you're dealing with.

"I only wish this was the final notice."