Meeting Avoider Gifts

'Ed moves that we buy new choir slickers and adjourn for pizza. Do I hear a second?'

Procrastinators Anonymous - Postponed

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

"I'm sorry, I'm either in a meeting or away from my hat..."

Sleeping - "Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

'I was asked to attend a meeting on Accountability in Education. Harold, how long will it take for you to teach me the art of camouflage?'

'Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else.'

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

'Right, I've convened these meetings to explore some concerns about the number of meetings we've been having.'

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

"Careful, he can smell your boredom."

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'

'Is he expecting you?'

"He arranged the time and the place of the meeting so he wouldn't be able to make it."

"I dozed off- is he talking about bus shelters or tax shelters?"

Jenkins, stop hiding behind your cup of coffee and give your report.

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"Terrible, I couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard I tried."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

"I should have spent more time at meetings."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I'm terribly sorry, I don't have any time now. Please call my secretary to make an appointment.'

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"Pardon us, Harrison, if the board fails to share your enthusiasm for the foliage up in Darien,"

Nervous at a party.

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."