Conference Avoider Gifts

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

'I'm terribly sorry, I don't have any time now. Please call my secretary to make an appointment.'

Chaos Theory Conference.

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

'Pick a business card.'

Nervous at a party.

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

"Dr Andrea Patterson; animal behaviour."

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"Remember this? One sweetheart of a deal!"

AI Summit

"Psychiatric convention"

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"The annual conference was running smoothly until Rusty, from a rival company, sneaked in and threw a stick."

'I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...'