Technology Avoider Gifts

"Tarzan no want computer."

I.T. Fear

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

2016 Policlicks

"Oh good, there's nothing on."

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

"I envy you, not having any idea of what's going on these days."

Larry hadn't measured himself against real market needs for many years - and wasn't about to start now.

"Anywhere that doesn't have tvs, computers, radios, ipods,cell phones or video games."

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

'I hate networking.'

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"At last — no Trump."

"Oh my God have you seen this sh-"

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

"My insomnia is getting worse, doctor - I can't even sleep now when there is a party political programme on television."

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

"Grandpa, you remind me a lot of myself in my pre-tech years."

'The news on tv is SO depressing, I've decided to stop watching it.' 'Is that permitted?!'

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

Man in cell phone shop - 'Do you have a phone that just phones?'

'Letters, letters, letters - why can't you learn to text?'

Day two of my political diet. I haven't watched FOX, or MSNBC. I haven't read the news pages of the paper. Scribble scribble scribble scribble scrib - I also haven't had any sweats, or racing hearts or hives. Write write write write scribble write. So I can probably start watching Hannity again tomorrow! Absolutely not. Doctor's orders!

"This is where I go to get away from reality TV."