Tech Averse Gifts

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

'Letters, letters, letters - why can't you learn to text?'

Grandma's caf

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

The Lost Tribe

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

Pensioners and Phones

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

Analog Alzheimer - Digital Dementia

"Digital? We're not even cable ready!"

Screen Addiction

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

'Your physician has to have more confidence in e-prescribing. He followed up with a fax, an e-mail, and a phone call.'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

"Grandpa, you remind me a lot of myself in my pre-tech years."

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"Technology moving too fast."

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'