Tech-averse Techies Gifts

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

Luddite Zoom.

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

Pensioners and Phones

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"Grandpa, you remind me a lot of myself in my pre-tech years."

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

"Technology moving too fast."