Tech-averse Techies Pillows

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

High speed cinder block

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

Pensioners and Phones

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

"Grandpa, you remind me a lot of myself in my pre-tech years."

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

"Technology moving too fast."

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."