Commercial Lover Gifts

"And this little gizmo let me skip the game but record all the Superbowl commercials."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'We offer full benefits. A desk, a chair and your very own cubicle.'

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

"It's the most hostile takeover I've ever been involved in"

'Well, this is a new low - even for you.'

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

"There goes the person that proved the Peter principal faster than anyone in history."

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

Great coaching is about being specific with feedback.

"Thank you for making my decision to fire you, that much easier."

'Big-time operators are standing by....'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

R. Gelfin - The buck stops here, then gets buried in his pile.

"Crap in" and "crap out"

'I'm giving you a bigger desk, so you can take more of my work.'

'Congrats, you're promoted to the company's anti-stress specialist. If someone feels worked up and irritated. He can come and hit you.'

Good plan, but where do I feature? You're the guy that signs approval.

There! You finally have a window!

'Shred that last mental note I gave you.'

'We need two armored cars - one for cash, one for employees.'

'What's happened to all this money?'

'Dog Executives'

Modern Charm

Junk Mail