Advert Lover Gifts

Junk Mail

A man and his cat watch tv

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Gerald Ratner's return

As Seen Watching TV

'We need to change our marketing strategy.'

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"We only invest in companies that still exist a year after running a Super Bowl ad."

Early Sexting

'Then, for some reason, sales dropped right off.'

"We're ready to give the verdict....after the commercial break."

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"You want the bookkeeper? Let me put you through to our creative department."

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."

'Thank you for picking me as your ATM machine...but before I dispense your money, here's a word from Ed's Bar & Grill...'

'They balked our pitch.'

COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS, 'Have we tried product placement?'

'And here's old Elias T. Pendergast - a legend in the advertising game. He's the one who successfully marketed the Ass-Expander.'

"Dwayne is very important to us. He knows exactly when a trend will become a craze."

Marty's Burgers. Under One Billion Served.

A businessman watches as a girl walks past carrying a balloon with his face on it.

NHS to encourage hospitals to advertise in a more friendly manner.

'Qool - when the thirst come first.'