Advertising Lover Gifts

Joan of Arc - The Mother of Advertising.

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Create some buzz!

If nobody had invented graphics

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Important Food Groups

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Honesty in retail

Gerald Ratner's return

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

News for Sale

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Eat Beef

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Opp'y of a Lifetime

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'