Comical Edge-lord Pillows

Tease-Maid - Wakey wakey four-eyes!

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

'Go home Daisy, the lions have got your spot!'

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

Husband / Wife / On The Side

I CAME. I FOLLOWED. I COMMENTED. I SHARED.

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

Trump's Twitter Row

"See what I mean, it keeps making funny noises."

'Italian design, German engineering...' - 'All you'd expect in a British car.'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"No Bald Games"

"The kids of today catch on so quickly, Ted! Remember how long it took US to master the finer points of crony capitalism?"

Trump and social media

"Cash for clunkers 2.0"

Aa fair indication of how we're treating the environment

"Well Mr. Bisley, your test results are off the scale. . !"

Boxer with glasses.

"Little by little my snarkiness is getting back to full speed."

"There are three courses of action we can take now - I can call you Ace, Chief, or Big Guy."

The end of the world is nigh - Get your specially adapted clock here