Comical Edge-lord Gifts

Tease-Maid - Wakey wakey four-eyes!

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

'Go home Daisy, the lions have got your spot!'

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

The First Asshole

Husband / Wife / On The Side

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

I CAME. I FOLLOWED. I COMMENTED. I SHARED.

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"See what I mean, it keeps making funny noises."

Whenever I'm feeling lonely, I just turn off my ad blocker.

Trump's Twitter Row

'Italian design, German engineering...' - 'All you'd expect in a British car.'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

The Cheshire Dog.

Trump and social media

"No Bald Games"

"The kids of today catch on so quickly, Ted! Remember how long it took US to master the finer points of crony capitalism?"

"Cash for clunkers 2.0"

Aa fair indication of how we're treating the environment

"Well Mr. Bisley, your test results are off the scale. . !"

Boxer with glasses.

Humpty Dumpty's Cat. You really gotta learn to land on your feet.

' Look at these yolk stains.I figure he was killed here,then dragged out to the wall to make it look like an accident.'

The end of the world is nigh - Get your specially adapted clock here