Comical Clergyman Gifts

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Support group for sheep.

St. Elmo's fired.

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

'Holy shit!'

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

Placed by the Gideons

'Am I going to church - I thought Christmas gave me a pass till Easter.'

'Joe gives 'em the bad news, and I give 'em the good news, just like 'good cop - bad cop'!'

Exorcism and Other Jobs.

Bishops with headgear of increasing size.

'Okay. Where's the fire?'

Hop-scotching monk.

Knitting.

'Thank God it's Monday.'

'HE was right you know.'

'Ever think about - you know - S-E-X?'

Pea-headed Pope

'You need a haircut Your Reverence.'

"He's talking about himself in the third person, again!"

'Somehow, I thought it would be different for me up here.'