Comical Clergy Dodger Gifts

'Am I going to church - I thought Christmas gave me a pass till Easter.'

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Monk Prompt

How's my sermon. . .

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

Bishops Snooker

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

'Even More Disciples'

The ten ammendments

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

"...and in conclusion..."

The Sleeping Congregation.

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Excommunicate Me.

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

"You have a divine right - and the left isn't bad either."

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

Stainglass Windows '33

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

After finishing his 5 minute guitar riff, John realized the silence was due to his filling in on the traditional service worship team that particular Sunday morning.

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.