Comical Clergy Dodger Pillows

'Am I going to church - I thought Christmas gave me a pass till Easter.'

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Monk Prompt

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

How's my sermon. . .

'Even More Disciples'

The ten ammendments

Bishops Snooker

"...and in conclusion..."

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

Excommunicate Me.

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

"You have a divine right - and the left isn't bad either."

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

After finishing his 5 minute guitar riff, John realized the silence was due to his filling in on the traditional service worship team that particular Sunday morning.

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

Stainglass Windows '33

'Just remember to get your punch lines in before they fall asleep.'

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.