Fan Of Clerical Jokes Pillows

'Holy shit!'

"You call this a constitution?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

The ten ammendments

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

A woman in prayer

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"He was much more effective in the field."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

"I like what you have here but the title seems a little pushy."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Excommunicate Me.

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

"First, do no ham."

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

Baby Bird

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

Flight Into Egypt.

'There are Jews, and then there are the JEWS who-turn-the- other-cheek.'

"I'm NOT pontificating!"

"An 'eight' for technical merit, Pastor, but only a 'five' for originality."

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

"She's a bird of pray."

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"