Quirky Clergy Enthusiasts Pillows

Exorcism and Other Jobs.

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

The ten ammendments

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

Conclave.

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

Ding and Dong.

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

Holy water cooler moments

'Holy shit!'

"D'you have sparkling?"

"A new preacher. He still has that new car smell."

'Good. Now, make a generous offering without expecting anything in return.'

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

'Joe gives 'em the bad news, and I give 'em the good news, just like 'good cop - bad cop'!'

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."

Collection plate at church with signs of the credit cards the church will take.

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

Knitting.

''Unfriended' sounds so much more gentle than 'excomummunicated' does.'

Disorganized Religion

"You have to admire Percy. He never forgets his working class roots."

Pope Benedict - Big Changes.

"Swag."

First Church of 100% Donation Rate: Featuring Sermons That Name Names!'

'Ever think about - you know - S-E-X?'