Comedy Nauticist Gifts

Parade of Boats 2:30

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Fishing from the Pier

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Walking the Plank.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Man painting MOM on boat

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'We're drifting apart.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

The Nor'easter Bunny.

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"