Comedy Nauticist T-Shirts

Parade of Boats 2:30

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Fishing from the Pier

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Man painting MOM on boat

Walking the Plank.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'I told you we should have unionized.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

The Nor'easter Bunny.

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

"That one's for higher-skilled plank walkers."