Comedic Vet Gifts

If you think your pony is ailing.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

He Did It!

'Do you have to do that every time?'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"That reminds me - it's about time to feed the little fella."

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'Holy S**t!'

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

"We're in for the night."

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

'That parrot is really repeating on me.'