Comedic Animal Handler Gifts

"That reminds me - it's about time to feed the little fella."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

The Rolling Bones

A recurring crisis at the Farkinski farm

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

He Did It!

'Do you have to do that every time?'

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

The Lion Tamer.

Broken artefact in the museum

'Nowadays kiddo, we just need to herd the sheep, but my grandfather had to protect them from wolves!'

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'