Comedic Pet Trainer Gifts

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'Do you have to do that every time?'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

He Did It!

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'Work the ring! Use the Jab! Watch out for the left hook! And turn off your iPod.'

"That reminds me - it's about time to feed the little fella."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

"I thought you were teaching him to fetch, not kvetch."

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

Genius Parrot

'Come and see this,Dad!'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

"We're in for the night."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"It's finally fur coat weather."

If you think your pony is ailing.

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

Schrodinger's cat-box

'This is my primary place of doing business, although I do sometimes do it on my neighbor's lawn.'

"Martha, throw away the Pooper Scooper!"

Cat gets drunk from wine spilling into his food bowl.

'Hey, knucklehead! You're standing on my tale!'

'That parrot is really repeating on me.'

"The applications are limitless."