Comedic Pet Trainer Gifts

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'Do you have to do that every time?'

He Did It!

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'Come and see this,Dad!'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

"I thought you were teaching him to fetch, not kvetch."

Genius Parrot

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"We're in for the night."

If you think your pony is ailing.

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

"The applications are limitless."

Schrodinger's cat-box

"Martha, throw away the Pooper Scooper!"

'Hey, knucklehead! You're standing on my tale!'

'That parrot is really repeating on me.'

'It's just not fair! Now that he's joined the gym, he's too tired to go on walks with me...'

Training the dog to use a litter box.