Comedic Relief Expert Gifts

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Who's got the hammer?"

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

Breast Height Chart

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Biological Alarm Clock.

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

"Wait! It gets even crazier!"

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

'He's lookin' at me!'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"I guess I'll never understand women."

'... and then he slammed the door in my face...'

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

Pirate Paddle Boat.

Al, you need to get over your childish desire for a pony. It's not childish, doctor. I only started wanting one last week.