Comedic Relief Enthusiast Gifts

Cat in bandages.

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

'Didn't you hear me? I said that I'm going home to my mother!'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Who's got the hammer?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"Touché"

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Breast Height Chart

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

The First Printed Bible

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

Biological Alarm Clock.

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"I've changed my mind"

When clowns run out ammunition.