Comedic Biblical Scholars Gifts

Someone need to set Adam straight on why Eve's there. He keeps calling her "Bachelorette No. 1".

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Zoo: No Hunting.

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

"Does the ark have wifi?"

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

David and Goliath.

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

"If Einstein is correct, when we get back, my car will have been double parked for 320 years."

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

Promised Land Signpost

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

Monkey Business College

"Let's start a small group."

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"

"What if we don't like their country personas?"