Comedic Biblical Scholars Pillows

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Zoo: No Hunting.

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

David and Goliath.

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

Monkey Business College

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

Promised Land Signpost

"Let's start a small group."

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."