Comedic Biblical Scholar Pillows

'Whose hair is that on your shoulder?'.

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"I've got writer's block."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"You call this a constitution?"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Zoo: No Hunting.

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"What did Jesus order?"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

King Solomon's Pollster.

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'Please take your receipt!'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'