Comedic Biblical Admirer Pillows

"I think we should see other people!"

Moses' Tablet

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

Joseph and his coat

"And on the fourth day god finished the work that he had done and he rested. . ."

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

Need tickets.

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

Three tailors block the street, forcing a passerby into their shop.

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

Moses Holds Ten Commandments: Do Not FOLD, STAPLE OR BEND.

Panic Stations in Heaven's Bakery - 'He needs 5000 loaves of bread and he needs them NOW!'

'Gentlemen, it's time to face the truth - we have absolutely no idea what we're supposed to do'

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

"So all is not rosy in the garden?"

Food Fight At The O.K. Buffet.

'Palestine? -- We were hoping for someplace further AWAY than that.'

Writing about scientific progress in 1675, Isaac Newton said " If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." This metaphor is now commonly used to make the point that scientific advances are made using a foundation built by the work of those who came before. That Newton guy was right, you can see further when you're on the shoulders of Giants. I just wonder if he was talking about the players from the football Giants or the baseball Giants. Ernie is a much bigger fan

"Sitteth."

"I'm under a restraining order."

"Hi! Is this Jesus of Nazarath, son of David? This is Stan. We're family! I found you on Ancestry."

Tattoo

'It's just a miracle.'

'Now all we need is 5,000 packets of tarter sauce!'

I'm the gorilla's nuts... I'm the dog's bo****ks... He's never been good at hiding his light under a bushel.