College Gossip Enthusiast Gifts

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

Santa does a keg stand.

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Scenes we'd most like to see...

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

Monkey Business College

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

'Coach - do you know the definition for 'losing coach''

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

The life of a professor is great- it's either publish or PARIS!'

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

'Interesting specialist subjects.'

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

"His number is the amount of payola he received to play basketball for his college."

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

'I recommend you major in something other than meat.'

'Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.'

Canine Frat Parties

"I miss my mom's home-cooked methamphetamine."

"I don't care whay they do at college, you'll scrub them off at once"

Son, when I went to school, I trudged for years knee-deep in student loans!