College Life Enthusiast Gifts

'It's a good thing they provided us with something to wear, because I haven't done any laundry in four years.'

The life of a professor is great- it's either publish or PARIS!'

"It's the stress of freshman year, sir."

"How real is your fake ID?"

Winter Freeze

I was supposed to speak at Berkeley about my new book on male-female relations. What do you mean "supposed to"? A few students protested, and before we knew it, radical outside agitators from the Anti-Lovin' Brigade started throwing Molotov cocktails. Then everyone blamed the students, and Berkeley fell sixteen notches on the Princeton Review's list of party schools. I'm surprised you let some "brigade" shut down your speech, Randy. The cute brigadier's eyes and mine met across a burning quad ..

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

Santa does a keg stand.

The Art Student.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Kardiff.

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'