Campus Life Enthusiast Gifts

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

Taser incident.

Reselling for Fun and Profit

"The good news is that the Remedial Learning Program is more popular than ever, which is also the bad news."

'It says here that you've been in college for the last 16 years. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

When the student is ready (or not), the college bills will appear.

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

All Hail the Matriarchy

Santa does a keg stand.

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Teacher and students.

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"I need a gap year."

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

Cutting Room Floor

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

Philosophy Department: You are Here...But why?

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'