Campus Life Enthusiast Gifts

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

Taser incident.

"The good news is that the Remedial Learning Program is more popular than ever, which is also the bad news."

'It says here that you've been in college for the last 16 years. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

When the student is ready (or not), the college bills will appear.

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Santa does a keg stand.

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Teacher and students.

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"I need a gap year."

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

Philosophy Department: You are Here...But why?

The life of a professor is great- it's either publish or PARIS!'

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

The Medical Student

"So how's that math grade looking? What's the team GPA this year?"

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

Canine Frat Parties

Campus police are dorm troopers.

"That's the famous Josh—a high-impact body harboring a very low-impact mind."