Campus Enthusiast Gifts

"Ain't it great to be back on campus again?"

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

Scarcity

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

Santa does a keg stand.

All Hail the Matriarchy

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

Teacher and students.

Max Weber

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

"I love college."

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

Taser incident.

'That's it?'

Emile Durkheim

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."