Campus Enthusiast Pillows

"Ain't it great to be back on campus again?"

Scarcity

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Santa does a keg stand.

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

Teacher and students.

Max Weber

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

"I love college."

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

Taser incident.

'That's it?'

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

Emile Durkheim

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."