College Life Enthusiasts Pillows

"Congratulations, keep moving, please. Congratulations, keep moving, please. Congratulations..."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

Santa does a keg stand.

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

Teacher and students.

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

Scenes we'd most like to see...

"I need a gap year."

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

Taser incident.

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

'Dang.'

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

The life of a professor is great- it's either publish or PARIS!'

"So how's that math grade looking? What's the team GPA this year?"

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

The Medical Student