Campus Enthusiasts Pillows

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Santa does a keg stand.

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

Teacher and students.

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

"I love college."

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

'What I don't understand, is how a guy named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart stayed out of fights long enough to compose any music.'

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

Taser incident.

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

The life of a professor is great- it's either publish or PARIS!'

"So how's that math grade looking? What's the team GPA this year?"

"The good news is that the Remedial Learning Program is more popular than ever, which is also the bad news."

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'