College Enthusiast Gifts

Binge Drinking On Campus.

'Son, this college is known as nothing but a big party school. Good choice!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Santa does a keg stand.

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"Finally...school starts next week."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

End of Affirmative Action

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

"I hope that this is just a riot of passage."

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

Classroom.

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

Taser incident.

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'