School Gossip Enthusiast Gifts

'He's a real pill but his mother makes wonderful cookies.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Back to school.

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"Finally...school starts next week."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'I know it hasn't any wheels...They're still in the pencil.