School Shenanigan Enthusiast Gifts

'Oh, heavens no. I was merely speaking figuratively when I said that I wanted to break every bone in his body.'

"Is there anything I can do for extra credit, like give you money?"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"Finally...school starts next week."

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'How do you like school?'

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

High school sophomore Kyle Rimnard tests his theory that cafeteria meatloaf cures acne.