School Shenanigan Master Gifts

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

"Well, Billy; according to your dog's x-ray, he didn't eat your homework!"

"I'll explain later."

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

'I was on my way to school, and some drug-crazed hippies took my homework.'

'Try doing something constructive this summer, like going out and capturing some of your school clothes.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

"It was a professional hit..."

"Tonight's top stories—chaos, pandemonium, mayhem, and the latest shenanigans of ____."

'What about you, Billy? Did some deranged animal burst in during recess and devour your homework too?'

"It's my French homework. Enjoy."

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

It Was Inevitable: Computerized Spit-Ball.

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

Student to mother: 'What a day. The health teacher left school sick, the debate team got expelled for fighting, the biology teacher dissected the school mascot, and the glee club, in general, went berserk.'

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

I told my teacher I refused to dissect the frog on moral grounds

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

"Another school year! Yay!"

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

"Your son has a remarkable memory."

'I was close. I drew some blanks.'

'How come Zorro's mother let him draw on walls.'

'I keep getting leadership mixed up with incitement.'

'I couldn't help notice, Miss, we seem to be going to the same place.'